Love Scene
Welcome friends in my next blog of this month, to be frank its becoming very hard to write down my feelings on a blog as i progress.
The time I spend with her, was very memorable to me and the the feeling were very irresistible. I felt like I am in love, but don't have guts to speak to my Sweetu, even i some what knew she also loves me a lot.
The thing which held be back in expressing my feeling was my imbalance in my family, which make me disturb most of the time. I wanted to share my happiness with my Love, not my Grief, problem and sadness.
So I never expressed my feeling to her, as I never wanted to make her sad due to my sadness.
But the most unexpected thing happened to me, when She messaged me and proposed me. I was on seventh heaven. I was not able to keep my head on my shoulders, heart beat increased. I became very happy and shared the same with my room-mate Tauseef Anwar.
I could have straight forward accepted the proposal, but some were in my unconscious mind i was very much particular that my Problem at any point in time make her sad. So i had to make a very Stone-Heart decisions, i refused her proposal (however i never wanted to)
I knew if she will be attached to me she will suffer a lot, and i loved her and never wanted to see her suffering at any cost. So i opted to silently move away from her life.
A Gazal by Jagjit Singh comes true to my life(I always said her that i do not like Gazal, but i would like to tell her that i loved this Gazal and i am very much attached to it)
Pyar mujh se jo kiyaa tumne to kya paaogi
Mere haalaat ki aandhi mein bikhar jaaogi
Ranj aur dard ki basti ka main baashinda hoon
ye to bas main hoon ke is haal mein bhi zinda hoon
khwaab kyoon dekhoon wo kal jispe main sahrminda hoon
main jo sharminda hoon to aur tum bhi sharmaaogi.
Kyu mere saath koi aur pareshaan rahe
meri duniya hai jo weeraan to weeraan rahe
zindagi ka ye safar tum pe to aasaan rahe
humsafar mujhko banaaogi to pachtaaogi.
So that was very rude of me, but that was good for her................
I want to convey, i always loved you at times you felt i am stone hearted, i also have a soft core of heart, which beats only for you.
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